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Here’s what is crazy: I sincerely thought God was my source– for strength, for guidance, for wisdom.

And don’t get me wrong: I would hear from Him, and even operated in the spiritual gifts He gave me.

But after all these years, I’ve discovered (much to my shock and dismay) that I was letting a human guide me– I pursued God (and sometimes obeyed Him) according to how this human behaved and set the example.

But here’s what is worse… I actually expected that human to get everything right– comments, situational analysis, instruction, behavior: everything. And who can live up to that kind of pressure?

Because– you know me!– if I think something, I generally share it. So, if I look to *you* to explain something to someone, and you don’t do it “right,” then I’ll give you… uh… “feedback” on that lack.

Wow. I had no idea– that was idolatry. (As well as incredibly unfair of me.)

If anyone had asked me if I practiced Idoloatry, I’d DEFINITELY have said NO! (I even objected to the contest name “American Idol!!” 😉 But it looks like I was full-out practicing idolatry–expecting a human to be my source and to get everything right.

Of course, if you’d asked me whether I truly expected someone to be right all the time, I’d have said no– and had all the examples of when this person got it wrong to prove it!

Now, I’ve helped to create a mess. (Terrific quote I heard today: God will use your “mess” to deliver the “message” and will use your “test” to create a “testimony.”)

But my God– the real one, Jesus/YahWeh/Holy Spirit/Jehovah Nissi– has come on the scene.

He has said He will clean this mess up. He will right the wrongs. He will DEFEND & SAVE.

In the meantime, He is walking me through this. And helping me re-focus on Who my Source is.

And I gotta tell you, I have never EVER seen such minute attention and concern from ANYONE as I have from my loving, heavenly Father. It has been astonishing– even though I’ve seen miracles, deliverances and experienced powerful moves of God in the past, I have NEVER seen such minute concern and ministry as I have these last 6 weeks or so.

Now– I gotta go. He’s working on changing me!

OH!!! I must must must recommend the book, Two Fleas & No Dog by Craig Hill. It’s in paperback or on audio CD. Get it asap!!! Really!!!!